bathtub
2008-12-02 – 9:54 上午Here I am back again, this time relaxed, yet still as worried as ever. I think being ”worried”, if we can put it that way, has become a more common and integral part of my personality. While it doesn’t show to those around me. I do actually constantly worry. ”Did I do this?”, ”Did I do that?”, ”Oh, I have to give this project in and see this friends, call the other one to cancel and find some time to do my laundry, take a shower”. Anyhow, the list of course goes on and on. Yet where does this list stop? Will there actually be a day where I will be able to slow down, take a breather and say to myself: ”The world is mine, thus it will not crumble in case you don’t rush through things, or put something off for the day after”. I don’t think so.
I actually imagined this moment of me, on a beach, staying out and tanning in the sun. That is so not me! I would be more like the kind of guy to put on a pair of skates, a pair of skii’s, participate in a rally or something, make the day worthwhile, mainly, tire myself out. But why not the sun? Why not Cuba, where I can relax and pierce my 20/20 vision through the clear azur water. Why not a day in bed where I can open up a book and devour it like I used to when I was a child? Why?
I guess I try daily, and when I say daily, I mean every single second that goes by, I try to solve the problems of the world. The sad part is when the day reaches its end, I realized that I didn’t do much after all.A couple of days ago, I got rid of two exams, my math homeworks for calculus and linear algebra, (two disgusting courses), and after having got rid of them, I took a bath. I opened the water, slid my hand, let it come in touch with the bulging hot molecules, and as these little tera units of agitated molecules would bump up and down from every pore in my hand, I thought of the plenitude, the relaxing moments, and the aroma of the coconut bubblebath that I’d poured into the tub. I thought of all the stress that had come inside of me like poison, and that left under one bare hours of examination. On the day where I passed my chemistry exam, the stress itself left the same way that the water that I was now pouring would. In a couple of minutes after I’d finished my bath.
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